*sigh,gasped* oh my..how should i say this?okay...
..this is the most difficult entry i should tell for myself, why? because a close friend who almost abandoned me is very hard for me to describe this feeling. but i didn't lose myself because she's my close friend since grade 4. *sigh* got to express....
In the first place, the way i describe her is mayabang, masungit, kuripot, pasosyal, because i HATE rich people like you(if your affected) when im still young due to my situation happened in my life. i was playing beyblade outside my house and saw her walking with her Labrador and her yaya, and what i first impression in my mind is "Hmmp, rich people rich people, are always winning for the poor". but that was just my first impression since grade 4.
then a coincidence, I met her at our neighbour's birthday party name Sean, i forgot what age he got into but oh well. We dont actually talked much because i exactly dont know her. she has curly hair, taller than me, big fish eyes, and fat before. how we met? we met when there's a contest of beyblade, i participate but whats worse of my STUPID beyblade is FAKE..ahahaha! how funny, and every time i launched my beyblade, it flew away from the battlefield, lost by default.so LOLs. of course my beyblade is made of plastic*for goodness sake, im laughing while typing*...anyways, i sat down and she started talked to me if i los the game."OF COURSE i LOST!" but she kept talking to me anything she wants to talk, so i tagged along. at the moment we talked a topic about playstation console, we're both exciting to share anything! she introduced to her house that makes me *jawdrop* and said "wooooAAAAHHHHH". i've been to her house everyday at summer from 8-9am to 6pm, overnight or sleepover at her house,she is from different school. she always tended to go other places away from Philippines but still we have fun.What an unlimited fun we spend together before until we graduated.
After our Graduation, we went to the same school in XUHS and saw the bulletin of which class i was in, i wish i was in the Semi-honors or Honors Section(because im honorable mention in gradeschool but not officially), Unfortunatley, i was in the general section while she was in Honor section. i was a bit disappointing for me because i didn't get the chance to be with her, but she said that we can meet up in lunch time and so im praised.later months pasts, she has new friends and began to lose contact with her, to be out of place. so i find new friends and be a highest rank of my class even i wasnt honored.we didnt went for a sleepover and visited her house everyday. i hated her before, because of a basic reason.JEALOUSY. and we didnt get the chance to talk for 2 years in high school or just pretending im her fake friend.
at last, 3rd year we had a talk because of the stupid moments. nagbati na kami okay?to make it summarized. then 4th year, we finally spend each other more and give her respect to go with her friends, and befriended her friends name jouchan, lovette, athena, and anna. nothing goes wrong in that year though for the time we graduated for college level.
Yet, the Aura of JEALOUSY came and the same feeling i had before in high school again in college. 1st semester, we had a less communication because of different schedules and courses. she found new mutual friends*which i know her friends*, to make something no to happen like before, i let her be, to be happy, enjoy, without me. a lot of event happened. she said suddenly "FUCK OFF" because of my tactless answers on the interview,she asked me to join Cosplay event*i just joined for her sake*, she doesnt invited me to MTND because my sis didn't informed me, and *sigh*....
i felt this is like a Ups and Downs event happened between us and kept on repeating the same way. 7 years of not giving her a gift, that was really insulting for me, as well as not being inviting on her birthday last 2 years ago because i was busy that time.
with my carefree life eating at Chowking, a friend just reminded me "tomorrow is her birthday."
i mimicly agree with him and suddenly shocked because i NEVER gave a gift. i rushed, panicked to by a gift. im really guilty by it. so....i gave it to her and she really appreciated it so much, promised her to go to her birthday.
when i was there..out of place was IN again, i wasnt that used to parties, tagged along the barkada, so i just listened, watched them having fun and enjoyed the moments with her.*sigh* its okay, i didn't have a chance to talked with her person to person. but before the event ends, we finally talked a topic i can relate on. and i had fun at the last minute.
i hoped that these wont continue the Ups and Downs moments with her. i want to make her happy. i know she's my crush and i love her as a friend*ugh*. i hoped she enjoys without me or with me. all i can say, everything change for good and bad, and theres nothing i can do with it.
Chances to talk with her is my choice.
Past is past and we want to forget everyhting worst in the past.
that's all i want.